I don’t know why they named me “Swiss Miss.” I’m not from, nor have I ever been to, Switzerland.

As for the “Miss” part, yeah, I’ll give them that. I’m definitely unmarried. In fact, I sort of fall into the category of… well… let’s just say it’s going to take a special person to win my heart.

To put it bluntly, I don’t particularly like people at this juncture in my life. Other cats? Great. No problem. If you’ve got four legs, digits commonly compared to legumes, and long weird cheek hairs that help with proprioception, we’re pretty much automatically cool. But, since literate cats are a statistical anomaly, if you’re reading this, I’m gonna go ahead and assume you’re human. No offense, but… yikes. How embarrassing for you.

Okay, I’ll admit it: the humans I’ve encountered over the past four months have been… generally inoffensive. There does seem to be a correlation between their visits and my food bowl filling itself, which I appreciate. But I had about two years’ worth of living before I came here and can tell you from experience that not every human can be relied upon to be kind and nurturing, so it’s going to take me some time to get to the point where I’ll automatically assume any given human is on my side.

Given enough patience and a quiet, stable home, I may get there one day. Or, I might just forever be someone’s weird reclusive roommate. I’ve heard stories about the wonders of living in a home: how some cats get to live with people who give them the space to just be who they are, as long as they’re happy and comfortable. And how a lot of cats eventually learn to let their guards down and really enjoy human company. Some even make up for lost time by becoming extra cuddly. Will that be me? Maybe, maybe not. Anything is possible! I’ll never know until I get the chance!

So come and get me, human. Take me to Switzerland. Or to your place. I’m a cat. I’m not good at geography. Let’s see what life could bring me!

My name is Swiss Miss, I’m two years old, and I’m spayed, up to date on shots, and fully vetted.