Why am I wearing a chicken on my head? It’s because I’m just a little TOO magnificent! I wouldn’t want you to be intimidated, you know? And also, I don’t want you to look at this noble countenance and think, “Check out all that pomp and circumstance. I bet that guy’s too respectable to be any fun.”

You guys, I’m nothing BUT fun! My name is Splat, by the way. See? Hardly any gravitas at all. With this chicken on my head, you might even say I’m… eggcentric. Anywho, now that I’ve put you at ease, let me get into the specifics. Number one, I’m a total lap enthusiast. Any lap is a good lap, but my favorite kinds are the ones attached to people who will also scratch my cheeks and tell me I’m pretty. #1 Lap Fan 4 LYFE! Throw away your couch blankets because you’re about to have the world’s best fuzzy lap warmer.  I haven’t met dogs, but I’m cool with other cats. I mean, okay if you’re petting another cat, sometimes, I’ll sneak in between you and them and flop down and show you my belly. And, full disclosure: that is but a clever ruse. No matter how tempting it is, touch the belly at your own risk. But that’s less about the other cats and more about you. The other cats don’t mind. I asked them.

Apart from my belly, I love being touched and petted! The head, the back, and even the tail are fair game! My favorite is when you play the drums on my side. A lot of the time, I love being picked up. Sometimes, I don’t. I’m a cat. We’re whimsical like that. But I always love to be in your lap.

So don’t be chicken. Come and see me!