Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. My name is Zosephina Avelina Gabriella Arabella Mariposa Ponderosa Karolina Von Willoughby III… but everybody calls me Zoey. Can I be honest with you? I’d love to be professional, but… oh, I can’t stand it! Would you mind terribly if we conducted the rest of this interview with me sitting in your lap?

I just figure, life is there to be lived! Why waste time being all business when you could be yourself and have fun? The thing is, I badly want this role. I’ve always dreamed of being Your Dog. And, let me be clear: I’m highly qualified.

First of all, I’m good with children. I love them. I’m currently being fostered with a preschool-age child who has autism and we’re best buddies. He’s an excellent source of cuddles and unauthorized snacks!

Secondly, I’m dog-friendly AND cat-friendly! I’ve passed my cat test and I know how to play well with other dogs.

Thirdly, I’m housebroken! I know how to potty outside and how to behave myself in the house. I can be left alone without a crate and will just nap until my people return. At night, I love to sleep in the bed with my fosters.

Of course, I’m not JUST a very good girl. I’m also a lot of fun! I love going for walks and playing with toys. Give me a rope or a big stuffed animal and I’ll whip them around like I’m Indiana Jones. I love chasing a ball and I love hanging out with my people. I just turned two years old, so I’m young and energetic and can’t wait to have someone to play with!

You might be wondering: is this dog perfect in literally every way? Wouldn’t it be boring if I were? I’m only ALMOST perfect. I do have two weaknesses: squirrels and snacks. If it’s little and furry and outside, why shouldn’t I chase it? Isn’t that what they’re there for? As for food, I don’t really see it as “yours” and “mine” so much as “ours,” and more specifically, “mine.” It’s okay with me if it’s on the kitchen counter. I don’t mind. I like a challenge. Unfortunately, this seems to be a point of contention with the humans, who think I should stick to dog-specific food. Like it’s my fault if people leave sandwiches unattended.

All that said, I can’t wait to get to know you more! I’m in a foster home right now, so if you’d like to meet me, please contact the shelter to set up a time to visit so that I can make sure I’m there. Let’s make this happen!

My name is Zoey, I’m two years old, and I’m spayed, up to date on shots, and fully vetted.