You know what’s wrong with kids today?  … Nothing. They’re doing great. They’re kids.  I’m Paul Bunyan and I’m not a kid. I’m about five years old.

And yeah, it’s true- I’m not old enough to properly be a geezer yet. In cat years, I’m only like… 37. But that’s not going to stop me! I was BORN prematurely gray.  So yeah, I’m totally up for a nap in my recliner. You wanna talk about classic cars? Go play golf? I mean, I’m an indoor cat, but I like the idea in theory.  I’ve got more of a “build a little wooden house for the local chipmunks” kinda grandpa vibe than a “get these dang chipmunks off my lawn” one. I’m a mellow, neighborly fellow who likes to drop in from time to time and offer to make you some biscuits.  I love my friends and neighbors of all sorts: other cats and dogs are both just fine with me! As long as they don’t interfere with my bird watching or naptime, why would I care what species they are?

So yeah, in all reality, I’m not even technically middle-aged yet… but I’m embracing the grandpa-core thing wholeheartedly. Meet you at the bingo hall. I’ll be the one wearing high trousers and suspenders.