My name is Gussie and I’m gonna read your fortune. Hmmmmm… it says you will meet a handsome stranger and he’ll change your life. No, he’s not tall, dark, and mysterious. He’s short, black and white, and extremely round. Like, really round. Nearly 21 lb of mellow, affectionate, handsome stranger.
Oh! Look at this! The Fates aren’t usually this specific! It says here that you must journey to the Open Door Animal Sanctuary. You must climb a flight of stairs. There, you will find a shining City of Kitties. It is within that you will meet your true love. Love doesn’t have to be a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Maybe you’ve got other loves. Your love has been loved before and, in his old life, he was a lap cat who lived peacefully with other cats, but never met dogs. Oh, did I mention that? Your true love is of the feline persuasion. I think, in your heart, you already knew that. You may think love is a young cat’s game, but it’s not. In fact, I think the love of your life might be around ten years old. He might be a bit on the introverted side, especially in the bustling metropolis of Kitty City, and might need a little patience and a soft approach right at first. This is your fate, but it’s not inevitable. You have to make the choice: go, go now! To the shelter! To fulfill your destiny! The name of your true love is coming clear now: it’s… what?! Gussie! That’s me! Gussie, ten years old, neutered, up to date on shots, and fully vetted.
